Things they left out of the manual – Friday 2/26 I’m over curated and bull penis

I’m in a hard place lately with social media. I love instagram’s format because, well, photos. I love stories because it makes me feel like I’m connecting in a real way. I don’t love to DO stories for a few reasons. The first is that I feel like I’m talking AT people and not WITH. I’m better in combination with other people. I’m like Jimmy Fallon that way. I’m good on my own, but I’m BEST in combination. Then, there’s the whole self consciousness thing. Mostly having to do with my bad eye and worried someone would make fun of me. I’m doing it anyway. But, lately, after this whole year, I can NOT consume the curated anymore. I spent about a week unfollowing ANYone that felt to me as if I was getting a curated/perfected story from. I can’t do it. They are a bowl of ice cream and I’m lactose intolerant. I WANT to love them, but we all know I’m gonna end up with gas.

I just think there is so much to real life and real motherhood that people don’t (are afraid to?) share. That’s one of the things I LOVE about my sessions with my families is I always go into it knowing I am trying to take that specialness of your family, and show you just how beautiful it really is. It IS beautiful. Even when it doesn’t feel like it! I’ve ALWAYS said (to my cousin, Kim, in particular) “Darn those Labor and Delivery nurses for not sending home the manual!!! How did they let us leave without it?” So, this is it. This is me telling you the real of a motherhood manual… with pretty images in here too.

So, this is my new series. This is my way of wanting to share images with you (because BOY do I have images to share). This is how I can justify showing you the curated images. By balancing that with realness.

Now, the reason you kept reading… bull penis.

One thing you should know about me (well, there are a bunch of things but let’s start here, shall we) is I have a KNACK for doing embarrassing things. The forehead slap moments in life are a SPECIALTY of mine. I’m gifted, what can I say. Today is NO exception.

In a group text with girlfriends this morning (while trying to get kids out the door for school, I might add) my friend who recently brought home a puppy says “Why didn’t you guys tell me what bully sticks are made of?!” Having no idea what that was, I asked. We discovered they are, in fact, BULL PENISES. Click here for the proof we found. I’ll give you a second if you need to process that information. I surely did. Now, at the very same time, my mother in law texted me to tell me that she was able to score a vaccine appointment! YAHOO! So clearly I text her back my excitement. Then I say to the girls group text “I was not prepared to picture how much muscle is in a bull penis before I finished coffee. Just sayin.” …except I forgot to switch screens and I texted that TO MY MOTHER IN LAW. ::forehead slap::

All is well, she laughed, I apologized and told her what it was and said I didn’t need to apologize, but you should know I put my foot in my mouth before I had a chance to eat breakfast today.

So, let’s make this a regular thing, shall we? I’m going to show up in stories as my real self. I’m going to post beautiful photos that I PROMISE are happening to real families. Both things can be true at the same time. But, I’m not cool enough on Instagram to have the cool swipe up feature, so I can link things. I’ll just do that here instead. Yes, I’m asking you to click to more things to get to it. I appreciate the sacrifices you make for me, I really do.

Want to know who I LOVE to follow that is NOT overly curated? These people will be good companions to a REAL motherhood manual! Beware of overly curated imitations! I’ll put their IG handles and link to their websites 🙂

The Holderness Family@theholdernessfamily (my cousin. shameless family plug, but they are incredible)

The Lazy Genius@thelazygenius Her and I share a brain and she doesn’t know it.

Glennon Doyle@glennondoyle Her book Untamed this year is one of my top 10 of all time and it’s ALL about being true to your true self. She’s my “here’s how to show up imperfectly” inspiration.

Emily P Freeman@emilypfreeman She’s the calm, cool, reflective part of me I wish I could channel more often. I drink too much coffee to be able to live life that calm.

Erin Moon@erinhmoon Her Stupid Walks are life changing. She just has a way of describing things that my soul just says “Yes, girl!! Yes!!”

Pantsuit Politics@pantsuitpolitics “Have the best day available to you” is a life changing way of looking at things and it gets better from there.

SharonSaysSo@sharonsaysso I’m a GEEK through and through. I love learning new things and she’s making learning government and policy in the LEAST bias I can find (and I’ve looked).

Now, it HAS to be known that music is how my heart talks to me.  I hear a song and my heart connects and MAGIC happens.  This week?  This song is it.  You’re welcome.


Here’s a recent real AND beautiful image!

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